There are many times a day that I catch myself with a twinge of jealousy over Sophia. This seems like an absurd concept, I know.
I am not talking about the times of the day where she gets to take a nap while I do the laundry, or the parts of the day where I make meals that take longer to prepare than it takes her to eat them. I’m not even talking about the part of the day where a mini-party is thrown because she’s gone potty in the potty. I’m talking about when it is abundantly clear that maybe I’m not Holden’s favorite person in the world, because she is.
I know, I know. This is crazy talk. Because I am the one whose hair he twirls while he takes his middle of the night bottle. And I am the one he snuggles up to as he does his tired tells at night. I am his mom, and boy does he know it. But she is the one he gives his biggest laughs to, she is the one that he will race off to when he hears her voice in another room.
I am jealous of those moments, yes. But the jealousy is quickly washed away with how happy I am that I’ve given them each a best friend in each other. No matter the drama and fights that are in our future, or where either of them go to school, or move to. My greatest hope in the world is that they will always have a bond that brings them together. And that there’s always a part of him that thinks she’s the best person in the world.