Juggling so many balls…

There is a constant running to-do list in my head.  My life is so full and so good, but it comes with the pressure of juggling so much.  My kids, my work, my boyfriend, my friends, my free time, my bills, my errands, my apartment.  There are deadlines, and phone calls, and appointments, and forms, and things to mail out, and things to follow up on.

It’s probably not shocking to many people that I don’t sleep much. In fact insomnia has been a problem I’ve dealt with for most of my adult life.  The more I have on my plate the less likely I am to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

I usually feel like I am forgetting something.  Even with a day planner I wake up with a slight worry that there was an appointment we needed to go to or something I was supposed to do that I forgot.  I feel like there are always 5 things I should be doing at all times, and if I had my way I’d do none of them and we’d just live at the beach.

Trying to keep track of grocery lists, to-do lists, budgets, party planning lists, kids appointments, my appointments, deadlines…it’s things we’re all trying to do.  And while it’s so much, I don’t find the act of doing them as overwhelming as the lack of sleep I get by the stress of keeping up with it all.

This blog sometimes takes a back burner.  Not because my mind doesn’t write (which I think are) amazing posts while I rock my son at night but because I am so tired that my mind can’t hold on to the words long enough to type them out.  Sometimes, ok every time, I choose to spend time with someone rather than dig deep and write on a Saturday night.  I have been choosing self-care and time for me.  And I know that while I miss this space, these choices are ones I am proud of.

I am busy, and life is hectic.  I worry about failing at any one thing, and every single thing, daily.  Writing it down, prioritizing. It’s all just life.  And I’m so happy that 2013 is the year I’m really living it all.

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