Last month I joined a gym. You know this, I’ve written about it. I was determined to reach my goals by the end of the year (didn’t exactly happen) – even if I hated the process. Turns out though I’ve loved the process, I love yoga and I crave Monday spin class, and I can get on a treadmill with out wanting to punch baby seals. I don’t know why I’ve changed – but I honestly love it to the point of near obsession.
Lately I’ve been interested in improving my “run”. I use that in quotes because I don’t know that I consider what I’m doing as running. It’s more like a jog, a “very fast walk” according to one of my apps. Sometimes I full on run for part of a song and then go back to my speed. I haven’t been pushing my self too terribly hard because I didn’t want to run the risk of hating it. But like I said, lately I’ve been looking in to improving. I don’t really know what I should be striving for – and to be honest I’m not sure what a “respectable” speed is. But I figured if I just kept going at the speed I was already going, but started adding time and distance…eventually I could push my shorter distances to be faster. Right? I mean this may be totally flawed logic – I don’t even know what I’m doing. I tried to google, but too many people have so many opinions on this and so I got overwhelmed with advice and closed the window and played more Farm Heroes Saga (seriously – the new Candy Crush).
Today I went further than I ever have on a treadmill – and maybe further than I ever have since I am not one to run for distance. Ever. After a couple of miles I sort of found a groove…when I hit the point that I stopped running on Monday I thought about stopping again. But I figured this may be my last real workout of the year – and so I kept going. Clarity played and I closed my eyes and just sang along silently. The Loaded Gun started playing. Suddenly it was the end of We Own The Night…and looked down and realized I’d done it. I had gone .75 miles further than I had on Monday.
Others may consider my best treadmill distance as nothing – after all it’s no half marathon distance. But I did it. I beat my record. I’ve never been someone who thought I would try to get better at this – earlier this year I couldn’t even do half this without feeling like death. And today I did it and got teary only because I am unbelievable proud of how much I can do when I push myself to do it.
It’ll probably be a couple of weeks before I am back in the gym – but I am excited to see how much I can improve my time and speed and distance in 2014. Something I’ve never really cared about before. If I can push myself every year to improve and learn and be a better person…I am excited about what will come next year. And the next year. And the year after that. There’s no one telling me I can’t, or I shouldn’t, or making me feel foolish. And so this year it may be 4.5 miles – but there’s really no telling what it may be a year from now.