There was a window when being the single mom of two young kids had become easier. Let me be clear, easier…not to be mistaken for easy. I mean I am not whining about oh how hard it is…but there’s not much about parenting that’s really easy….and so there’s not been much easy about single parenting these two. But there was a window where it wasn’t as hard as it had been. Holden could entertain himself, didn’t need to be held to drink milk, could put himself to sleep. Sophia was entertaining herself, wasn’t being mean to her brother, we had a TV so when there was something I had to do they could watch a movie. It was during this window that I took on dating and having a life again.
Then life does what it does and it changed. It is just how it goes with kids. Teething, summer visitation, change of schedule, separation anxiety, change of eating habits. And now we’re back to the point it’s hard for me to manage cooking a meal (not really because of TIME but because Holden just refuses to stop screaming while I try to cook and my goodness that can be nerve wracking), I am not getting enough sleep, there’s always a child upsetting the other child, and I have no idea what is going on with sleep but man kids who don’t sleep enough are cranky.
All these changes will settle themselves out. I know that. Two of the four molars Holden has been struggling with are out, I think I’m figuring out how to juggle a new nap schedule for Holden and new bed times for both kids. I am not even trying to fight Holden’s new pickier-eating-ways because I know it’s not a battle I can likely win. Eventually we’ll get used to early mornings (maybe? hopefully?), and juggling Sophia’s schedule with Holden’s speech therapy won’t be a big deal. Eventually things will get back in to a rhythm, as they do. But I am trying to be kind with myself for now that it’s gotten harder and I don’t have to try to do it all perfectly. (This includes the post I started writing yesterday that will hopefully eventually get posted. Maybe.)